Application Frustration

Admittedly with some difficulty, as my life has been turned upside down this summer - I'm not a student anymore and currently between "homes" (as in living at "my boyfriend's" with his family and still can't quite think of it as "mine", or visiting "my dad's" that stopped being home when I moved out, my sister got my room and I left the house key), with no idea what I want or where to go next - I have started looking into job listings and filling in applications.

Is there anything more frustrating?

Some of the questions - such as "why do you want to work for us" or "what attracted you to this position" &c seem to encourage lying and shameless flattery. The truth is fairly simple: The location is convenient, I need the paycheck and I need something to do with my time because, frankly, I don't have the self-discipline or the funds to be an artist full time. I've got a feeling that won't look too good on an application.

On the other hand, claiming that OMFG your company is the bestest evurr and I always wanted to work for you and OMFG I can't believe I've got the opportunity, oh almighty management plz plz plz pick me I'm like super motivated, might not go down to well either - it simply isn't believable. Especially if the position, like the ones I'm looking at, is entry level stuff like sales assistant or waitress. I'd happily do either, but neither position is my absolute dream job. Truth be told, I have no idea what this fabled dream job is, because I have absolutely no ambitions at the moment.

Then there's the type of person needed for these jobs. What skills are you bringing with you. Job descriptions often seem to describe a person I have, quite frankly, never ever ever come across - the outgoing people person with bubbly personality who can sell snow to an eskimo, with loads and loads of experience and confidence, who is independent and charismatic but works well in a team... yeah, that's not me. It is very discouraging. I know very well that if I claim to be this person, it will be a matter of seconds of a potential interview before I'm found out as a liar. Look, I'm nice. I'm friendly. But I am also reserved, and often insecure. I get very, very frustrated with application forms and job descriptions that ask for someone who is, essentially, my complete opposite. I feel like I'm wasting not only my own time, but theirs, too. As if I'm not already feeling unemployable enough... yeah.

Of course I do realize that this perfect employee personality might be acquired, and not a pre-existing quality. I'm not sure how suggesting this might look on a job application though - I imagine either untrustworthy, or like someone with no personality at all.

The latter might very well be true.

Anyway, at the moment all I can do is keep applying and hope that, sooner or later, one of my applications might end up in the hands of someone with realistic expectations. Who doesn't mind a weird foreign name.

I'm f***ed.